Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
