I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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