I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
