I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.