they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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