bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".