my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.