My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
