Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
