how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
