roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize