are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
