Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
