And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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