i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So much Jack, so little girl.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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