areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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