The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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