I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize