im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
