i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
