some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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