id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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