At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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