im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize