You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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