just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
