you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
