Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
