I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
