soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Mom said you looked used
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
