Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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