After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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