I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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