I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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