Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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