yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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