And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize