me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
