i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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