Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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