btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize