pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize