I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
