i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
