I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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