what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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