I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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