which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
