I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
