Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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