Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
