he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
