well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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