Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
