before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Less talking, more tequila
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
