Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
this hospital has no fireball
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
