all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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