i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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