I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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